How to Talk to Your Doctor About Hormone Therapy, Especially When They’re Not Listening
I met a lot of you on the book tour, and one thing came up over and over again.
You’re exhausted. You’re overwhelmed. You’re doing the work to learn about what’s happening to your body, and still, the moment you sit across from your doctor, you’re dismissed.
“You’re too young for menopause.”
“It’s probably just stress.”
“Try to sleep more.”
“Let’s wait and see.”
I’ve heard every version of it. And I’ve lived it too.
So many of us are walking into medical appointments armed with knowledge, only to walk out with shame, confusion, and zero answers.
Let me say this clearly: You are not imagining things. You are not too young. You are not being difficult. And you absolutely deserve better care.
If your doctor won’t take you seriously about hormone therapy, here’s a way to take back control of the conversation.
What to Say to Your Doctor About Hormone Therapy
Start here:
“I’d like to talk specifically about hormone therapy today. I’m experiencing [insert your symptoms here—hot flashes, mood swings, low libido, sleep disruption, weight gain], and I want to understand all my options, including HT.”
If they dismiss you or say you’re too young:
“I’ve reviewed current guidance from the Menopause Society, and I know that hormone therapy can be a safe and effective treatment for many women under 60 or within 10 years of menopause. I’d like to understand if I’m a candidate.”
If they continue to brush you off (and they might):
“I’m looking for someone who can partner with me in this next stage of life. If that isn’t something you feel comfortable doing, I’d appreciate a referral to a menopause-informed provider who can support me.”
If you feel nervous, say this out loud:
“I want to feel like myself again. I know my body. I’m asking for your help, and I need to know that I’m being taken seriously.”
This is your health. This is your body. You do not need to suffer in silence, and you do not need to accept less than informed, compassionate care.
Bring notes. Bring your symptoms. Bring your voice. And if your doctor still isn’t listening, bring yourself to a different doctor.
Because you are not broken. You are in a transition. And support is not too much to ask for.
xo,
Tamsen
P.S. If you need help finding a menopause-informed provider, check the resources in my book or visit menopause.org. You deserve a care team that sees you, hears you, and has the right tools to help.