What I’ve Learned About Love, Libido, and the Hormone No One Talks About

Yes, I am talking about testosterone. The one hormone that still needs a big conversation.

Five years ago, Ira got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. It feels like yesterday and a lifetime ago all at once.

I think about how far we’ve come as a couple, and my heart is full. But if I’m really honest, I also think about how far I have come since that day.

Because when Ira proposed, I was deep in menopause and even deeper in confusion. My body felt unfamiliar, my moods were unpredictable, and the hardest thing to admit? I had zero desire for intimacy.

None.

Here I was, a newly engaged woman in love with the man of her dreams, and I didn’t feel like myself. I didn’t feel like the vibrant, passionate, connected version of me that I knew was in there somewhere.

I kept asking myself what was wrong. I brought it up at appointment after appointment, only to be met with half-answers, outdated advice, and way too many versions of “this is just how it is now.”

But it didn’t sit right with me.

So I started asking better questions. I started looking for better answers.

That search led me to Dr. Kelly Casperson. If you don’t know her yet, you should. She’s a brilliant urologist, bestselling author, and one of the clearest, most compassionate voices in women’s health today. She’s also someone who will tell you, without hesitation, that you are not broken.

We sat down recently for a conversation I’ve been wanting to have for years—about a hormone that barely gets talked about when it comes to women: testosterone.

And before you stop reading or assume it’s “a guy thing,” hear this:

Women make testosterone.
Women need testosterone.

It is essential for energy, strength, mood, memory, and yes, sexual health. For so many of us, it’s the missing piece of the puzzle—the one that could help us feel like ourselves again.

My hope is that this conversation helps you feel more informed, more seen, and more empowered.

And if any of this resonates with you, I’d love to hear your story.

We deserve answers. We deserve desire. We deserve to feel like ourselves again.

With love,
Tamsen

P.S. You can listen to the full conversation with Dr. Kelly Casperson on The Tamsen Show. It’s candid, insightful, and might just change how you think about your hormones—and your health.